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Published: 11-Jul-2015

The following are based on real-life incidents. So any resemblance to any person living or dead is purely intentional. No animals were harmed while this article was written. Smoking and Maggi are injurious to health.

Come the club selections every year and anxiety levels on campus are over the top. The first years fret about getting into the best clubs and the second years worry about getting the best candidates. During the interview rounds, applicants are subject to the whole spectrum of emotions within a span of 3 days, a predecessor to the process’ bigger cousin – the placements. And in this potpourri of emotions emerge the weirdest of questions, craziest of answers, monologues of extreme globe, declarations of false overt commitment, variety of idiosyncrasies, and lots of other worthy-to-be-discussed bloopers. Here are a few from this year:

1. Achilles’ handwriting

For every question, there are great answers and then there are epic answers. Epic replies are very rare and happen only a few times in a millennium. One such epic reply happened to be for this question “What are your weaknesses?”

“My weakness…. I have a bad handwriting.”

This guy certainly joins the ranks of epic warrior Achilles for this epic answer.

2. The X(X) factor

“Why this club?” the panelist raised the ubiquitous question.

“I want to bring diversity to this club” replied the girl.

This reply would have gone down as epic if not for the element of truth in it. Hopefully next time!

3. Half sentences are dangerous.

Weaknesses over. It’s time for strengths. Asked about her strengths, one girl’s reply was… “I am committed.”

Every soul in the room froze. Few were busy trying to figure out in their head how a question about strengths could be interpreted as a question about relationship status? Few others were busy nursing the big blow to their hearts. One guy let out a wail at the back.

“Committed to work” the girl clarified immediately. Sheepish grins. Everywhere.

4. The Organizer.

“What do you usually do?” the interviewer asked.

“Organize events.” replied the enthusiastic candidate.

“No, I mean what are you enthusiastic about? What do you usually do as a hobby?” the interviewer tried to prod on.

“Yeah. I am enthusiastic about organizing events” came the brilliant reply.

“No. I mean what do you usually do in your free time?” the interviewer desperately tried to elicit a sensible answer.

“I organize events in my free time.” quipped the brilliant organizer.

5. Handle with care (extreme care!)

The interviewer looked up from the form to the candidate curiously.

“What do you mean by ‘I am an opposite kind of guy’?” he asked.

“Well you know I am unusual. I create a lot of problems wherever I am.” the guy replied.

“But then how will you contribute to the club?” the interviewer was intrigued.

“Well you know if you can handle me you can handle anything”

6. The Gamer

“Hosting this event would require you to have prior gaming experience. Do you have any?”

“Yes. I have” said the candidate emphatically, pleased that he had the necessary qualifications.

“Which game?”

“Candy Crush Saga.”

Two minutes of silence for all the gamers.

7. What an idea Sirji!

“What do you propose to increase footfall for this event?”

“Give away consolidation prizes”

Oh wait! Did you mean consolation??

That’s all for now folks. There are undoubtedly many more such incidents but these are the few I could collect in my limited interaction with the eminent panellists. I certainly am making every effort to document the rest.

Disclaimer: This article isn’t intended to offend anyone nor is it to be taken seriously.

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