Published: 25-Nov-2021
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This is the story of an ingenious entrepreneur I came across many years ago. I know the first sentence sounds like a Linkedin influencer post but trust me, the story isn't.
Billion-dollar startups in India were actually as rare as unicorns. Oyo was a year away. Swiggy 2 years away. But this guy, this badass, was already killing it in the entrepreneurship circuit, raking in the moolah. It was only poetic that this was happening in India's original tech city Hyderabad. We still didn't know that Bengaluru's Koramangala would soon steal away all the limelight.
Anyway, back to Hyderabad. I was visiting a cousin in the city that summer. And we decided to visit Ramoji Film City, the place where many hero-punches-villain-flies-to-moon Tollywood scenes are shot. My cousin and I were waiting for the bus to take us there when thunder struck. Not the usual one. Thunder struck within my stomach.
The dum biryani I had eaten last night began to roar its ugly head. Complete panic in my head. Shit (pun intended), where do I go? We were quite far away from home. Walking or travelling anywhere was out of question. I was a ticking time-bomb.
I looked around and saw an office building right next to the bus stop. An oasis in the desert. This was it. There was only one problem - a rickety chair at the entrance on which sat a middle-aged security guard.
Head down, hands resting on his pot belly, moving up and down rhythmically as he breathed. Any passerby would think he was sleeping. But with my senses heightened due to my intestinal situation, I caught his bluff.
Hawk-like eyes peered from under his half-closed eyelids, keenly watching the entrance for prey. Ah, I thought, a master at his craft. A silent guardian. A watchful protector. A dark kni...ok sorry. Back to the point.
This guy was not the typical sleepy-eye I could skip past. Having no other option, I decided to use my people skills to the best of my ability. Holding my stomach and making a crying face, I walked up to the guard and said "Anna, urgent". To my surprise, the guard just pointed down the hall to the left and said "Do it fast" (in Telugu).
Ok, before I continue the story, I need to make a very important rant. Never tell a person to finish their 'download' fast. Nah nah. It will take as much time it wants to take. You cannot control it. You cannot nudge the pieces to launch faster. Back to the story.
Not that I could tell the guard any of this. For one, I really did not have the time to hold it anymore. And two, I ran away before he could change his mind.
I will not bore you with the details of what happened next. After 'some time', I was back on my way out - emotionally and physically lighter.
I profusely thanked the guard for literally saving my ass and was walking out when I hear a "Saar" from behind. I look back to see my saviour smiling sheepishly.
"Saar, I helped you. Now you help me".
Seeing my confused face, he explains "Big saar said don't allow anyone. I still allowed you".
I went "Ok..." but was still looking for words
He then raises his hand and rubs his thumb & index finger.
Ah! Well-played dude, well played. I take out a ₹10 note and put it in his hand, silently congratulating an excellent entrepreneurial mind.
As I am walking out, another macha holding his stomach approaches the security guard and says "Anna, urgent".
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